Don't redirect ajax requests to getting_started.  Fix a possible source of errors and backfill a couple tests

Protect against pre-existing post_visibilities, log them so we can find out where they are coming from.'

This reverts commit bf53ad9f.

wip, still need to auto hide, and expand on click the contact setting, styling, also would be nice to cache the friend list, and maybe on login queue up a job to refresh it

SocketsController now takes a user object or a user id, so that we only instantiate the user if we need to

added newline to stream element partial, otherwise timeago & comment won't display if aspect badge is too big